Mission accomplished!

Van speaking: It was such a wonderful blessing to be home with the saints in Stake Conference and be able to fulfill the mandate that I had received from President Lawrence. It was such a wonderful thing to have our family all here this weekend. I’m home from the hospital and getting stronger day by day until I report back to the Hospital a week from Tuesday, March 9th for round two of Chemo. We probably won’t write another blog until then and just spend time enjoying our family while we can and take advantage of every second.

Wendy speaking: It was a very emotional day seeing the Lords hand in our lives helping Van be strong enough to speak in Stake Conference. He did such a good job talking on the service of missionary work. For the longest time I didn’t even think I could do service on the Sabbath but boy was I wrong. Heavenly Father’s children have needs seven days a week not just six. Service is the actual application of our religion. We can sit around and talk about helping people, or sit around and talk about programs or activities but it isn’t until we actually serve and minister one on one that the gospel actually comes alive. Van used an example in his talk today about a brother that was on his way to Church with his family and saw a less-active neighbor working on his shed. So he stopped the car, sent his family on to church and went to help his neighbor with his shed. As a consequence of this act of service and others like it, both of these men are now serving as Bishops in our Stake. We have been the recipient of this kind of service for the last couple of months. Wonderful people have put the gospel in action on our behalf and we are grateful.

An Answer to Prayer

Last night I was able to go (without Van) with President Ashby and his wife to a Night with a General Authority” provided for all the Seminary Teachers (full and part-time) and their spouses. President Eyring said a lot of wonderful things but his talk was based on the theme: To strengthen our commitment and ability to bless the youth. He said we have 40,000 teachers in over 100 countries teaching the youth at this time. He also told us four things we need to succeed:


1. We must qualify to have the spirit
2. We must receive understanding through the spirit to teach
3. Live the gospel so we know by the spirit what to teach
4. Teach the gospel in a simple purity. Not our own… Plus many other wonderful principles.

Today, Van accomplished his goal of speaking in Stake Conference at the Priesthood Session. He rested this morning so he would have the strength in his legs to stand and talk for 15 minutes. I drove him to the Stake Center just minutes before he was to speak. He had to wear gloves, a mask (until it was time to speak), and I had to wipe the podium and microphone down with hospital sanitizing wipes. Then they had to take him out as soon as he was finished speaking. He was weak and shaky at the beginning, but the spirit came and strengthened him so he was able to finish strong and communicated the message the Lord wanted him to give. The Lord worked miracles so this could happen today. It was an answer to all of our prayers.

Another brother (Quinn) joins Van's Fan Club!

Tonight when we got home I asked him if he wanted to change his clothes and get out of his suit?  He said, I don't really want to because I miss my clothes.  It was so cute that he really wanted more than anything to stay in a suit and tie.  I think he would have slept in it if he didn't have to wear it again tomorrow.

Living from miracle to miracle

Van’s pain reduced dramatically this morning to the point he can live on just IB Profin. It truly is a miracle! Thank you so much for your faith and prayers. As of tonight, he hasn’t taken any narcotics for pain. It is sure a turnaround from the last few days. We came home from the hospital this afternoon and Van has been working on his talks for Stake Conference. He is so EXCITED to accomplish his goal of speaking in conference. Miracles had to actually happen for this to take place. I’ll remember to ask for everyone’s prayers when we need our next miracle.


Van Speaking: There sure is a God in Heaven. I love conference; the spiritual feast that occurs every six months. I for one am really excited to hear what counsel President Lawrence and President Scholfield have for us. Whatever it is, it will be the Lords will. It will be the mind of God, and the will of God for us in this the Tooele East Stake. See you at Conference.

Pray for a Miracle, please

We spent the night in the hospital with a pain pump. Van says it is wonderful to not have any pain. His problem now is that his body is so saturated with narcotics he is tired and sleeping all the time. His oxygen levels are low until the narcotics works their way out of his system. They really aren’t sure why the pain is lingering so long.

Update on Bone Marrow Donors: There are no sibling matches. We just found out Donor #1 was not a perfect match. Donor #2 is being tested and we’ll know in 10 days his or her results and Donor #3 didn’t match at all. But don’t be discouraged because we always do things the hard way. If this #2 donor isn’t a match then the Doctors will decide if they will take the risk and use Donor #1 even though it isn’t a perfect match or if they will try cord blood. 

For the past month, Van’s goal has been to speak in Stake Conference this Saturday and Sunday. He is scheduled to speak at the Priesthood Session on Saturday and the General Session on Sunday. Van wants so badly to be with the saints this conference. We are asking everyone to join with us in praying for a miracle. 

 Van with his pringles, oxygen sensor on his finger, oxygen in his nose, pain pump, and I.V. Saline Solution

Pain, Pain, and More Pain

We went back for our out-patient appointment this morning and after seeing how much pain Van was in, which was a whopping  10, they quickly gave him some Toradol through his I.V. and realized they needed to admit  him.  We are in room E806.  The Coordinator was joking with me and was wondering if we were trying out all the rooms to see which one we liked.  Really this is only our third room.

Van’s sister JoLyn came to stay with him for 3 hours today and let me go and do whatever I wanted to.  Where do you think I went?  Some of you are right, IKEA!!  I love just wondering around that store.  Some of you know that is how my house is decorated in a modern, clean, fun way.  It’s fun to get ideas and think about them.  I haven’t been in a store like that to wander in for over two months.  When I returned, Van didn’t even miss me (just kidding) because JoLyn gave him back rubs because of his spams.  It was really helping him relax.

The Pain Management Team came to see Van tonight because the first pain medicine in his pain pump did not work  for his body.  He was on  two different pain medicines, two pain patches, nausea medicine and now a pain pump – and all this didn’t give him relief.  So they have decided to put Diloted in the pain pump, add a heating pad and keep Toradol going around the clock.  He has oxygen on and they are closely monitoring him (it’s hard to remember to breathe when you are sedated this much). 

The only time Van woke up today was when he was in tremendous pain.  But right before I left he woke up and actually talked.  I kept kissing him and telling him how great it was to see him today.  He’s pretty handsome bald, don’t you think?  I bought us hot fudge sundaes tonight so we could have a date night.  I know it’s only Wednesday, but I couldn’t wait.

Rocky Road

     Last night, Van’s fingertips went numb, he started shaking and he said all food tastes like cardboard. At midnight things started going downhill. Van started having severe pain in his lower back with super bad back spasms. We tried all the medicine we had available and when it didn’t work, we called the doctor and she tried to help, but after talking to her twice throughout the night and with no good results, she had us leave to go to the hospital around 5:30 this morning. I just wanted to thank the Principal at Tooele High School, Steve Livingston, for feeling impressed to pray for Van in his classroom right as we were arriving at the hospital. He needed those prayers along with all the others that were praying this morning.
     We already had an out-patient appointment this morning, so we just arrived a little early. The Doctor promised she would have morphine ready. I called when we were 10 minutes out and made sure they were ready for us. They gave him some powerful medicine, but it only helped the spasms and not his pain. So they gave him a larger dose and it only helped for 15 minutes. After four different I.V. medicines and two pain patches, the pain went from a 10 to a 6. I personally wanted it as low as a 1 or a 2, but was told it probably won’t happen for a few days and he’ll just have to bear the pain. The Doctor thinks the pain is caused by the Neupogen shots. Van has been receiving the shots this past week to stimulate the growth of his white blood cells because they were all killed off with Chemo. His counts have come up quickly, but it is causing a lot of pain deep in his bones. He also had back surgery when he was in High School and the scar and pain are in the same spot. He had a horribly painful lumbar puncture a week and a half ago from which he is still feeling the pain. They are stopping the Neupogen shots for now, but we’ll have to go back tomorrow morning to get his blood work done and see if he is ok. We were able to come home at 5:30 tonight, but will leave at 8:30 in the morning for testing again. Van is ok with that because he just wants to be with his family even if it is for just a few hours.
     We did find out more about our donors today. We found out that out of the three donors the first one didn’t match like they wanted, the second one went in to be tested last week and the third one finally went in yesterday to get tested. Now it will take a few weeks to do more in-depth testing of their blood to find out if either one of them will be his “match”. In a way this is good. Since it will take a little longer to get a donor, the Doctors have decided to postpone his Phase 2 Chemo Session a week later. So now we won’t go back to the hospital until March 8th. Van is so excited to have a real week with his family!

What happened to my hair?

This morning Van wasn’t able to get out of bed so our five year old fed him breakfast in bed and then I went to take him his pills and looked at his pillow and guess what I saw? Hair strands all over! I started getting so excited and had him come downstairs so I could start shaving his head. Once we were done, Josh said he would like a hair cut but he wanted just a little bit of hair left on his head. Once we were done with him, Grandpa Heder said, I never lost my hair when I had cancer so I’ll be a part of the team. We took a three generation picture of bald, bonding men.

Three Generations

Van, Josh, and Walt Heder

Van used to teach at Cyprus Seminary for three years and his entire faculty came to visit him today--Barbara Morgan, Rory Bigalow, Sean Anguiano, and Clint Udy. It was a wonderful time for him to be with them. This is what they told him. “There are two things about Van that are always consistent. He had good looking hair and wore male hosiery (designer dress socks).” And today he has neither hair nor male hosiery, so you know that Van has hit rock bottom when he doesn’t have either one. It really is different to see my husband in anything but a suit and tie. People always teased him because he would get caught washing his car in his suit, but without his jacket and wearing an apron. I miss those days.

Cyprus Seminary Faculty

Blankets are a blessing

Today was wonderful to have the Sacrament brought to our home to renew those special and sacred covenants. It has been a day of rest, Van's levels are at their lowest so he is weak and shaky but he loves to be home with his family and close to those whom he loves.



Right before we left the hospital yesterday, our nephew Alex Heder and his parents brought 24 large blankets to the Leukemia floor at LDS Hospital. His family brought Van a blanket on the first few days of his stay and saw the impact it made on him. You get really cold when you are going through treatments and it’s nice to have something to hold and keep you warm. Alex needed an Eagle Project so he decided to make fleece blankets for everyone on the Leukemia floor. They are bringing 24 more blankets next week. There are only 9 Leukemia patients at this time so it should last for a little while.


Melanie Balls is another Leukemia patient on the 8th floor at LDS Hospital. She wrote about receiving one of these blankets. Her story can be found at http://melanieballs.blogspot.com/.

Below is an excerpt from Melanie's Blog

Melanie also received a new blanket today. There is a patient here (Van Heder), and mom has become friends with his wife (Wendy). One of their nephews (Alex) did an Eagle project and brought some blankets to the patients on this floor. The nursing staff was distributing them for him. Kara (Mel's CNA) thought this blanket looked like it belonged to Melanie, so they brought it in for her. It was donated by the McReaken family.

Surprise visit!

Part of the BYU Middle Line Backer Squad of the football team came to visit Van in the Hospital today. They presented him with a BYU football signed by every member of the team (even Bronco Mendenall). They are great guys—returned missionaries full of the spirit. It was a highlight of the year! Van explained to them why he is such a big fan. One of the players wrote this note to us on his way out, “Thank you so much for letting us visit you. Thank you for the kind words you shared with us to always put God first and to not think too highly of ourselves, but to think highly of God. We noticed the spirit in your eyes and that God is with you and within you. You have a strong marriage and a beautiful family. Thanks for the example. I’ll never forget it, for the rest of my life.” That’s how we feel – we’ll never forget it, for the rest of our lives either.

The BYU Football Players presented Van with a football signed by the entire team!

Shane Hunter, Thomas Steele, Uona Kaveinga, Aveni Leug-wai, Austen Jorgensen, Devin Mahina

with Van Heder

Van walked them out to the elevators

Van is now home for the next week until we go in for another round of Chemo March 1st. He will go in twice this week to check his blood levels. Right now they are at the very lowest and today he received two units of blood to keep him going for a few more days.  

Thanks so much to Coach Tidwell and his efforts to build such good strong young men that live the gospel.

My Testimony!

My personal thoughts on this situation with Cancer

This is my testimony

Van Heder

I know Heavenly Father makes promises to his children. (For example). Abraham received promises through the Abrahamic Covenant that he would be a “father of many nations”. These promises would be realized through Isaac (Hebrews 11:17-19). So, when the Lord commanded Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac, Abraham was able to exercise perfect faith—knowing that because of the promises, God would raise Isaac from the dead, if it came to that (in order to fulfill the promises). President Henry B. Erying has said, “Perfect faith does not just know God can do something, but knows that he will”. Like Abraham, Heavenly Father has made promises to me. When I was diagnosed with Leukemia, Bishop Fivas and my Father-in-Law laid hands on my head and blessed me that I would overcome this illness and that it would be a means of bringing me closer to the Lord while preparing and qualifying me for greater service in the Lords kingdom. In my Patriarchal Blessing the Lord also promises me a long and productive life and that I will be able to accomplish all the goals that I seek to accomplish in righteousness. When the Lord says something, he means it! He always comes through. This I know to be true. I have promises that must yet be realized, goals that I have yet to accomplish—therefore, this cancer will pass. I am happy to stay the course and receive the tutoring that must come through this experience. The Lord is in charge. I believe that if I am living my life right, no matter what happens—good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant, disastrous or otherwise, it is right. It is the Lord’s will. There are no coincidences. In Gethsemane the Savior said “Father, Thy will be done”. He meant it. No matter the incomprehensible agonies that would follow. At this time in my life I can honestly say that those words are mine as well. I want what the Lord wants—no matter how unpleasant the outcome. He knows best. This will all work to my good. The night before I was diagnosed with this cancer, I was on my knees asking Heavenly Father for greater faith. This whole experience is just another testament to me of our Fathers love for his children. He is willing to answer our prayers if we are willing to receive the answers. This is my testimony.

I love my FAMILY!

Van has been able to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner and keep it all down. He had two other forms of Chemo today and so far so good.


His brother Lane, came and spent a couple of hours with him today and it meant a great deal to Van to have a wonderful gospel discussion and search the scriptures together. Van speaking: The subject we discussed was the Abrahamic Covenant and what it really means to us. Elder Bednar spoke at a Priesthood Leadership Session of Conference for our Region a couple of years ago. He began his comments with this question, “Brethren, are you living your lives in such a way that your temple sealing can be sealed?” Unless our marriage is sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise we don’t have an eternal family. The Abrahamic Covenant to me is all about eternal families and our responsibility as children of Israel to provide the promises and blessings of the temple to all of our brothers and sisters-- so they have eternal families also.


Grandpa Poole is spending the night and he’s taking good care of me, which allows Wendy to spend some needed time with the children, do taxes and other things that need her immediate attention. I’m trying to persuade Grandpa to make a road trip to the store to buy me some Pringles – Original flavor. I’m feeling like a pregnant woman, I’m having cravings. Yesterday it was corn nuts, today it’s Pringles (the best potato chip ever made). It’s the absolute cure for Cancer.

Chemo and more Chemo

During Bishop’s visit, Van started off the day with throwing up everything he’s eaten the night before.  Evidently the Chemo in the spinal tap yesterday traumatized his body so much that his stomach stopped working again.  So he spent the day laying flat on nausea and pain medicine, getting blood transfusions and getting ready for more Chemo tomorrow.

I asked the Doctor today WHY he has to have so many different forms of Chemo?  Van  has had Chemo in his spinal fluid 4 times, a daily tablet of Chemo,  a different Chemo six times, and at least four others different kinds of Chemo in the last week.  But this is just round one of Chemo.  He has two other rounds to go.  They are very strong and powerful drugs.  The Doctor said it was because his type of Leukemia cells likes to hide out in secret places in the body and especially the central nervous system.  So therefore they have to make sure that the spinal fluid is completely clean.  Only a few things can get through the blood brain barrier and Leukemia is one of them.   If even one cell comes back there is zero chance of survival.  So they are doing this to give Van the best chance for a future.  We trust our Doctors completely and pray for them daily and ask you to do the same.  

 Bishop Fivas and Van

Pain, agony, gloom and despair

Pain, agony, gloom and despair is how you can describe Van’s Lumbar Puncture with Chemo today. Nobody understood why his legs shook and his body was in so much pain. He’s been laying flat for 8 hours trying to not get the dreaded spinal headache. He’s starting with a medium headache but we’ll know by the morning when the drugs wear off how bad it is going to be. Last time the headache lasted three days so I think this one should only last two.


Today I had my follow-up Doctor’s appointment for my heart. I had SVT (Supraventricular tachycardia). I ended up having a heart oblation (surgery) three weeks ago. I passed with flying colors and all restrictions have been lifted. Yeh!


Today Van wasn’t feeling well and hadn’t been able to read the Book of Mormon. He told me one day to just open the Book of Mormon over top of him and let the spirit of the book out. So that is what I did tonight. I know he’ll be blessed.

This is the official picture that will go up on the Leukemia board on the 8th floor of LDS Hospital.

One day at a time

There was a time when Van wondered if he would ever like food again but today food is beginning to have an appeal.   Van ate a large cheeseburger and fries all by himself today and kept it down!  He’s also receiving half of a dose of TPN (Total Parenteral Nutrician) with all the vitamins, protein, etc.  going in through his I.V. (It looks like a milkshake).     I can tell he is getting stronger and feeling better because he is starting to tease the nurses.  Our motto is “One day at a time”.    We’ll see what new adventure tomorrow brings.

Tip:  I just learned how you can see the blog at full screen or a lot larger.  Firefox users:  if you have a mouse with a scroll button, hold down the control key and scroll your mouse button and your screen will go larger.   Internet Explorer users:  On the bottom right of your screen there is an arrow that you can increase the font/screen size. 

Valentine's Day

Van speaking: After a week of chemo death, today started with a miracle. I hadn’t been able to eat anything for three days running. When the missionaries from the Hospital Branch stopped by to give us the Sacrament, they asked if there was anything else they could do, to which I replied, “I sure could use a blessing”. They happily obliged and blessed me that my body would take nourishment and I would regain my strength. Almost immediately I desired food which hadn’t been the case for days. I was able to eat breakfast and dinner and have been able to keep it all down. That was huge for me because I’ve lost so much weight they were starting to get worried.


The kids came by today and decorated our room with Valentine’s and things. It was good to finally be in a position to talk and visit with them instead of being comatose. Lindsie decorated the table and we ordered a cheese burger and fries, strawberries and a brownie from our low microbial diet menu. (See the two love birds below.)


I have learned as Moses expressed so beautifully, “I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed.” In this huge cosmos of Heavenly Father’s creations, we as human beings are truly insignificant little life forms. However, as Nephi, “I do not know the meaning of all things” -- but I know that we are Heavenly Father’s children and he loves us and is aware of our needs and that it is through small and simple means (even seemingly insignificant things) that great things are brought to pass. 

 Our Sweetheart Dinner on Valentine's Day at LDS Hospital

(Sorry I didn't have a box of chocolates for you honey)

Our kids came to visit!

I got a phone call a few days ago telling me that Van and I were nominated to receive the Golden Marriage Award from the Healthy Marriage Coalition in Tooele.  They had a beautiful evening last night with dinner, dancing and a fabulous speaker – John Bytheway and his wife.  Lindsie (my daughter) and her husband Josh Boucher went and accepted the award for us because we were and still are in the hospital.  We truly wished we could have been there.  Van and I LOVE to ballroom dance, have a free dinner and be entertained and taught by one of my favorite speakers John Bytheway.  We have almost all of his tapes and cd’s and my kids listen to him at night as they are settling down to go to sleep.  Lindsie sat by his wife at the head table and LOVED it.  One secret that Lindsie told about us last night was when Van proposed to me he said, I will NEVER raise my voice to you.  And he hasn’t EVER raised his voice to me.   He is a wonderful husband and I’m so glad I’m married to him for ETERNITY!

 

Lindsie & Josh with John Bytheway and his wife at the Valentine's Dinner/Dance

 

Our kids came to visit us in the hospital today and they brought us some things.  A wonderful friend let us borrow a very thick memory foam mattress for Van’s hospital bed.  We made up his new bed while he was in the bathroom and he absolutely LOVES the mattress.  Another friend is going to buy a memory foam pillow because he keeps getting headaches and he thinks partly it’s because of the pillows and how he sleeps.  This will make him very comfortable. 

The kids, Josh and Lindsie just came to visit today and we had a great visit.  Van wasn’t able to talk but he could squeeze their hands (well three times in two hours) and they loved it.  He could hear most of the time but he just couldn’t talk.  It’s because the nausea, heavy sedating nausea medicines, fatigue and exhaustion from the Chemo and a painful pit in his stomach.  Josh (our son-in-law) shaved him with his electric shaver today because he didn’t have any strength to do it himself.

 Josh shaving Van because he had no strength to do it himself

But when Bishop and Cheri Fivas came to visit tonight he was a little more responsive.  This is probably because of Bishops positive exuberant attitude.  Bishop is convinced he is bringing him home Wednesday.  He says if the Doctor’s don’t release him, he is sneaking him out of the hospital so he can be with his buddy.  They talked about all the food they are going to eat when Van comes home like BBQ Chicken Pizza, Chinese, & Winger’s wings.  That put a smile on his face.

 Our kids came to visit their Dad

Our Romantic Date

I’ve always loved the romantic dates when you feed each other and since it is close to Valentine’s Day… Tonight I fed him (because he was so weak he couldn’t feed himself) but I pretended we were on a romantic date. I think I might have gotten a smile from him. He had a few spoonfuls of chicken broth, a cracker, and a few spoonfuls of peach yogurt. He still hasn’t been able to drink but I was his cheerleader today as he ate those few things.


He’s really miserable and wants his old body back. It really is discouraging when you can’t function or even stay awake. I drop everything I’m doing when he wakes up because it’s usually only for a few minutes. I talk as fast as I can and tell him everything I can think of. Then I start tickling his arm because it keeps his mind off of his situation and he’s off to sleep again.


Tonight, I read Van the scripture Alma 31:30-31. “O Lord, wilt thou give me strength that I may bear with mine infirmities… O Lord, wilt thou grant unto me that I may have strength, that I may suffer with patience these afflictions which shall come upon me. “ I know he can do it! We just have to be patient.

BYU Blanket #2

 

Van's nurse giving Chemo in a caution/poison bag!

 

I came back to the hospital today around noon and it was just in time to look at Van and know things had turned for the worse.  He was so nauseous he couldn’t move.  We got him some medicine and a few hours later it was still bad so they gave him something else and then a few hours later they gave him something else and he said it made him jump out of his skin.  I left for those few minutes to get something to eat and get a cord for my camera so I could post these pictures and I missed his bad reactions to the medicine.  He said on the last bad reaction his whole body started twitching and jumping.  I can’t believe I keep missing the exciting reactions.  ** So now that they have given him all this medicine he is sleeping VERY soundly.  They woke him up to get his vitals and he said his nausea is at a 5 on a scale from 1-10.  It was a 9 (which usually means a 12 for normal people).

**I say this because when I was in the ER (both times) having my heart stopped, Van was disappointed that they weren’t using the paddles to stop my heart.  I guess we both enjoy living on the edge.

We really thought we were going home from the hospital tonight but I guess not.  He has to be off of I.V.’s, eat, drink, and take pills for at least 24 hours.  He hasn’t done any of that today.  So we’ll be here for at least two more days. 

His sisters came and stayed with him last night, while I was in Tooele, and brought him some BYU fleece material and they all tied a large double sided blanket for him.  He is so happy because he is always cold and this blanket is extremely warm.  GO COUGARS!  

 A BYU Fleece Blanket that Van and his sisters tied last night

A True (Blue) Missionary

In the last two days, Van had a nurse come by and ask him a lot of gospel questions. The nurse was just confused about some of the doctrine. A relative came to visit today and he taught her the gospel. I’m so amazed at his testimony and love for the gospel. He shares it in everything he does or says. I think he has talked to every nurse on the floor about their religious background and if they are happy with their lives. In fact, if I could, he would like me to sit at the computer and just type for hours while he writes talks after talks. He LOVES to teach and talk about the gospel. His favorite is symbolisms and I think one of his talks for Stake Conference is about the Star Wars Klingons. You’ll have to think about how he is going to relate that to the gospel? I love him so much.


This afternoon I came home to take all four kids to the doctor to make sure they aren’t sick or get them anti-biodics so they won’t be infectious when Van comes home in the next few days. Because of the Chemo this week, within the week all his counts will drop to nothing, which means he will have no neutrophils (good white blood cells that make up your immune system), will need blood transfusions and platelets transfusions, etc. We are hoping to do all of this out-patient but they always encourage you to bring an overnight bag just in case. There is one thing for sure; you never get bored with this disease. There is always something new and exciting happening.

Lumbar Puncture

Van having his Lumbar Puncture and getting Chemo in his spine.  

We started with the Chemo from 6-8:00 this morning and it all went very well.  We just took it easy today while I made phone calls and took care of business.  This afternoon they did a lumbar puncture and put Chemo in Van’s spine because they aren’t taking any chances.  He has to lay flat for four hours so he won’t get a spinal headache.  Then from 6-8:00 tonight he’ll have another dose of Chemo.  This will be repeated every 12 hours for the next four days. He is in great spirits and everything seems to be going well.

Liquid Death

We thought we were going to be going home today but we will be in the hospital for a while longer. I thought when people received “Chemo” for cancer it was all the same “Chemo”. But now I understand there are many many forms of “Chemo”. Ours is “Chemotherapy with Hyper-cvad alternating with high dose Methotrexate and Cytarabine”. There will be only two cycles of 6-7 days each, in the hospital. After which we should be able to return home and come back on an out-patient basis 2-3 times a week for a couple of weeks until we begin again.

When the nurse gives you the Chemo I.V., it’s so toxic, she has to wear a protective covering, double layer of gloves, put a protective plastic under Van’s arm and is super careful not to spill even a drip. She explained if they have a Chemo spill that it is really serious because it could get in the air and it can be very toxic to breathe. And that’s what they are putting inside of him. No wonder it kills cells. It’s just another testament of the miracle of the human body and its ability to adapt and heal. You can put poison through your system for days on end and still live through it.

So by the end of the week I’ll be looking at a handsome bald husband. They say when you start itching your head; the loss of your hair will quickly follow. They suggest at that time to shave your head so that you don’t see all the hair coming out in chunks on your pillow. I’ll make sure to take pictures.

Today we had an alarm go off and we had to evacuate our hospital room. An awful smell came through the ventilation system. They put us in another room for 30 minutes until they approved us to go back. At this same time they had a code red on the first floor (which means a fire). It was pretty exciting for a little while.

Our five year old son, Josh, bore his testimony Sunday and he said, "I know Jesus is the only one that can help my Dad". Out of the mouth of babes.

Good news and bad news!

The good news is the doctors gave us permission to go home for a few hours today to see our family. But the bad news is they have decided to start the full blown Chemo tomorrow for the next seven days! Yuk! Let me explain why. The Doctors don’t trust that this new medicine is working efficiently or as quickly as they would like in order to keep the Leukemia under control. Since this new medicine doesn’t cross the blood brain barrier, they are afraid that the Leukemia might be hiding out in the central nervous system as well. They feel that if they do the Chemo that it will give Van a better chance for survival long term. He will have seven days of Chemo, then a week of recovery in the hospital to get his counts back up, then possibly a week a home until the next phase. This cycle goes four times until transplant. It's nice to know there is a strategy and a plan.

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Picture Day

Today has been a good day. Instead of having a headache all day long like yesterday, Van didn’t get one until 6:00 this evening. He had picture re-takes today for the Leukemia patient picture board in the hall. The first picture they took he looked like a sickly cancer patient and he couldn’t stand looking at it. Today he got all dressed up in a dark blue polo shirt with his BYU blanket as the background. That will give some variety to the picture collection they have. The nurses have discussed where on the board they can put his picture so they can easily cover it up with red. We are truly one of the very few BYU fans here. Most of the nurses and Doctors are “Ute” fans. It’s hard to stand up for what you believe in, but it shows in everything we do, wear or decorate with.

Van has been busy spending time in the scriptures preparing talks that he will give at Stake Conference at the end of the month. This is actually quite therapeutic keeping his mind off his sickness.

Van said, “They say I have cancer but I don’t feel like I have cancer. It’s not the cancer that is making me sick, nauseated, delirious with a myriad of other side effects, it’s all the medicines. What they say is true--the Chemo and medications are worse than the cancer itself. But without them I wouldn’t be alive. So what do you do? Every day that I’m on this side of the turf it is a good day.”

He was cut free of his I.V. today and we went on a nice walk around the floor. They just opened up the other side of the 8th floor to add more beds for Leukemia patients which includes an out-patient clinic. It has taken a year to remodel and we are one of the first to get to enjoy it.

I decided we needed to have a date so we watched a Redbox movie, ate Big Hunk candy bars, corn nuts, and drank a lot of sodas (orders from the doctors – to drink a ton).

Thanks again everyone for all your faith and prayers. They are greatly needed.

He's sporting a new look!

My motto is “If you look good you feel good”. And since Van hasn’t felt good for quite some time, I decided to give him a new look. Obviously the circumstances don’t permit the normal suit and tie apparel that Van is accustomed to. So I ran to Kohl’s and picked up two new plaid pajama pants with four nice matching polo shirts. And I was right! He looks good and he is starting to feel good! In fact for the first time in weeks Van has craved food. Up to this point, even the sound of food nauseated him not to mention the low microbial menu that the hospital offers. So today I went at Vans request, and picked up a Sweet Pork BBQ Burrito from Café Rio. Van thought he had died and gone to heaven.

Aside from a constant headache today, Van has done really well with no nausea. The strategy of administering the Chemo at night and sleeping through it seems to be working. The world would call it a turn of fortune or a coincidence, but we believe it is the result of a priesthood blessing and inspired Doctors.

The Doctors want to try increasing the amount of Chemo each night until they get to their target dosage, hoping that Van’s stomach will be able to tolerate it. So we are in a holding pattern the next couple of days making sure they don’t send us home prematurely.

Who knew that Neutrophils were so important?

Last night we had a thought: “What if they give the Chemo to him at night together with all the sedating medicine so he can sleep through it?” This way he would just sleep through the time when he would normally feel nauseated and actually be able to function during the day. Come to find out, the pharmacist and doctors were thinking the exact thing. So, he didn’t have to take any more Chemo until tonight. They say some people actually get used to the medicine. Wouldn’t that be great?

We had a few rough moments today, but over all he did pretty well. I came home tonight to put the little kids to bed and take care of some business while Van’s brother Bill is staying with him in the hospital. His brother is being his editor and scribe as Van dictates his Stake Conference talks. (Van is a counselor in the Tooele East Stake Presidency). He really wants to be able to go to Conference and give the talk in person, but that can only happen if his neutrophils (definition below) go up enough that he won’t catch every germ that is in the air. If not, President Lawrence said he would be glad to read his talk, but Van is determined to do it himself.

Definition: Neutrophils are the most common type of white blood cell, comprising about 50-70% of all white blood cells. They are phagocytic, meaning that they can ingest other cells, though they do not survive the act. Neutrophils are the first immune cells to arrive at a site of infection, through a process known as chemotaxis.

Round 2

This morning we put the gloves on again. Instead of raw eggs blended up in a blender like Rocky, Van downs a raw peanut butter and jam sandwich on raw white bread with a few raw Pringles for good measure (The breakfast of Champions). Rocky had it all wrong. At ten o’clock, the nurse came in and pumped a full ml of Adavan in Van’s I.V. which is sedating nausea medicine. Forty-five minutes later he swallowed the killer scorpion whole (Gleevec). The rest of the round was a blur (considering the fact that Van was asleep half of the morning). But somehow the poison stayed down—all day. This is a wonderful prospect. This portends to better days. Even if we have to sacrifice half a morning under nausea sedation every day, that is a price we are willing to pay if it means Van can come home and experience even a semblance of quality of life with the family for the next six weeks before the transplant. Hurrah, hurrah for Israel. We’ll try all this again tomorrow to make sure we aren’t jumping the gun. Is that light I see at the end of the tunnel? Don't you just love it when Van writes the blog?

Going the rounds

You could almost hear the Rocky theme in the air as the morning progressed while Van prepared himself physically, psychologically and spiritually to receive this newest form of chemo. He was preparing to fight the fight of his life. This was a dawn of a new day. Out with the old in with the new. The new medication is called Gleevec and the hopes were high that it would be a successful venture. The fighters were in the ring. The opening bell had rung. An hour into the match, he was sitting on the pot with his head in the garbage can heaving his guts out. So needless to say; back to the drawing board.

No one should worry. Van is resilient and he'll be back on his feet in no time. There has to be some strategy that will work. The Lord’s in charge.

God's greatest gift to mankind . . .

Yesterday morning was the last of the Disatinib (Chemo) because of the ill effects it is having on Van’s system. His body can’t tolerate it. Today is a lot better than yesterday but he is still experiencing some nausea. So he took some Adavan in his I.V. to get rid of nausea, a couple of Roxycodone for pain, and a couple of Ambian to help him sleep. So now you have a man completely devoid of any care or conscience in the entire universe sitting next to me eating original corn nuts one by one in order to savor them longer thinking that they are God’s greatest gift to mankind (with the exception of the China Patter, of course).

Last night when Van was so ill, Joel Jones and his Father-in-law (who is a missionary here at this hospital), came and gave Van a priesthood blessing to provide him with the strength that he was needing to bare up during this horrible pre-transplant period. Power was given, blessings received and promises ensured. It was beautiful and will pay dividends for eternity.