The Little Things

These past two weeks have taken a toll on my body. I started with some type of sore on my lip. The Doctors says the stress is manifesting itself this way. They had to culture it because it could be devastating if it is a viral infection and Van gets it. So I have orders not to kiss him or touch him, and wash my hands ALL the time until the test results come back on Wednesday. I have NEVER had to stay away from my husband and it is VERY hard. But I’ll do anything to keep him healthy.

When the Doctor sent Van home from the hospital, they gave me a list of things I have to watch for like little prickly red dots on his body (low platelets), sores in his mouth, fever, different colors besides pink inside his bottom lip, excessive nausea, headaches, fungus infections, etc. If any of these occur I call and they decide if he needs to come in immediately or give him something to help treat it here at home.

One thing they are worried about is a fungus they found inside him. They have cultured it for the second time and said if they get a positive result back he has to come right back into the hospital. We should know in a few days. They told us to have our bags packed just in case. The certain fungus grows when you have a lesion in the bowel, which could go into the blood stream and be very dangerous. At least we know how to live on the edge.

They also told us that if by chance Van has a single Leukemia cell in his spinal fluid that there is 0% chance of survival. They have a dilemma, because if they give him a spinal tap to find out if he has any Leukemia cells in his spinal fluid, they will contaminate the fluid because the needle will puncture the blood- brain barrier and go into the spinal fluid. So they told us they will do that at some time when we get closer to the bone marrow transplant. Then they will have to give him Spinal Fluid Chemo treatments before and after the transplant. We should find out the plan on Thursday.

It has been so good to be home with our children. Van is stronger today than any other day. He even fixed the disposal. The first night I came home from the hospital, my furnace wouldn’t turn off and I had to call the Bishop (which is our home teacher) at 10:30 at night to come help me. Then the next day as I was leaving for the hospital, I discovered I had a flat tire. I thought to myself, I really have had high expectations of my husband. He fixes anything that we need and now that he can’t, it really makes me respect these single mothers so much more. The night before we came home from the hospital a bunch of boys came down our street and broke into all the cars. The Police woke us up at 4:30 this morning to tell us to check our vehicles and to see if anything was missing. I didn’t realize how much I’ve relied on my husband for protection and peace of mind. (After all, he does have a weapon and a concealed carry permit). I’ve taken my husband for granted and I don’t think I have thanked him enough for just being a guy and doing all the things that guys do. So thank your husband’s tonight for just taking out the garbage. Van can’t do that anymore and we are trying to teach our only other boy in the house, Josh age 5, to take out the garbage which is very challenging for him. My garbage can is very tight and you have to tug and pull, plus the garbage can is almost as tall as he is. It’s really comical but I’m sure he’ll get the hang of it or I’ll have to buy another garbage can.

People are shocked to see Van looking as good as he does because they expect him to look like he has one foot in the grave. These last few days have been the best days so far and so to quote Jon Griffith quoting Brad Bullough, "It's better to be seen than viewed".