Facing the future

I know a lot of people look at this blog and I want to have something wonderful and uplifting to say today but I’ve been in bed all day and can’t force my body to move (because of my racing heart yesterday). I feel like I’m falling through the floor. I’m hoping by tomorrow my marathon legs will be able to function again. While I was in bed today I read a lot about Van’s bone marrow transplant but it got so depressing I just decided to wait until another day to continue. I learned he will lose his hair, eyelashes and eyebrows. He will have to take multiple medicines. For example: He has to take Busulfan four times a day. It will suppress the bone marrow and destroy cancer cells. It has been associated with seizures, so to prevent this risk, he will be given another drug called levetivacetam. The side effects are thinned or brittle hair, darkened and dry skin, loss of appetite or weight, diarrhea, mouth blistering and fatigue. I won’t even go into the long term side effects. But this was just one of 12 different medicines that he will be taking, and they each have their own severe side effects. I lost my appetite just reading about it. So today is a day of gaining my strength for what is to come.

Somebody told me today that I had problems with my heart because I said my motto was “Bring it on!” I have a Doctor’s appointment on the 25th to do a stress test and consult with the doctor about fixing the problem.

My family doctor called today and said the test came back positive on my lip, it really was a cold sore and he said if Van got the virus his brain would swell up and it could be fatal. So still no kissing or holding hands for at least another week or more. I decided today, I’m going to start wearing latex gloves so I can at least hold hands.

I’m really excited to read this blog in a year and see the words “We did it!” We passed the test! I do have faith and a strong testimony but I can’t wait to see the growth in both of us in just one year.